Realizations
by foxyfeline
Summary: Sam comes to some realizations after her father dies...SJ
1. part 1

Title: Realizations

Author: Cabouse18

Email: cabouse18@yahoo.com

Spoilers: Minor ones for Death Knell, Grace and Chimera

Season: Seven, takes place before Heroes.

Rating: PG-13

Content: Hurt/Comfort; Romance; Angst

Disclaimer: I don't own them, allow I wish I did

Author's Note: Got this idea from comments Chris Judge made while on tour with Michael Shanks. I don't want to say what he said because some people don't read spoilers. Suffice to say if you did read what Judge said, and then you will understand where I am coming from. Also I am merely taking the idea and implanting it in season seven.

Summary: Sam comes to some realizations after her father dies

**Part 1**

The stargate sprang to life surprising all in the gate room. 

"Close the iris"

The titanium shield slid shut as the defense teams stood at the ready to either stand down or take down any intruder who might have obtained earth's code.

"Who's knocking sir?" Jack asked as he and the rest of SG-1 entered the control room

"No one is due back til tomorrow"

"It's the Tok'ra, sir"

"Open the iris, defense team stand down"

As the iris slid back Sg-1 hurried into the gate room in hopes of greeting Jacob as he exited the gate. Their hopes were dashed when Anise emerged instead of Jacob. What shocked them more was the two other Tok'ra who exited after Anise. They carried a home made stretcher which contained a covered motionless figure.

"No" Sam whispered as the gate shut down and Anise solemnly approached them. Jack instinctively moved closer to Sam.

"Major Carter I am sorry…" Anise didn't get the chance to finish because Sam pushed past her towards the stretcher

"No" the words barely made it past her lips as she removed the blanket to reveal her father's pale and motionless face. The shock of seeing him lying there with no life in him caused her knees to buckle. She would have fallen to the floor if it had not been for Jack who caught her. 

"General" Jack said as he held Sam tightly to his chest. 

"Take her to the infirmary, Jack" Jack slowly led Sam out of the gate room as she quietly sobbed into his shirt. 

Once inside the elevator Sam became extremely silent, sobbing occasionally. Jack tried hard to comfort her but he couldn't find the words. Once they reached the infirmary Sam had regained some of her composure but Jack could tell it was all for show. 

She kept insisting she was fine but he knew she was in shock. And who wouldn't be at seeing their father lying a stretcher dead? Sitting next to her on the infirmary bed Jack tried to remain strong as he watched Sam try to be the good solider she had been taught to be. 

"Sam, honey don't you lie down" Janet said as she approached them

"I'm fine Janet" she replied without even blinking. 

"Sam"

"Janet please" Janet eventually relented and left Sam and Jack alone. They sat in silence for some time before Sam started to speak. "How I am going to tell Mark? What I am going to tell Mark?"

"I'm sure Hammond can do it if you want"

"No I need to be the one to tell him. I just don't know what to say"

"No matter what we'll be there…I'll be there for you"

"Thank you" The silence between them returned again as they just sat there reveling in the other's presence.

TBC


	2. part 2

**Disclaimer and all that jazz are in part one**

**Part 2**

When Sam told Mark of Jacob's death, she had to admit he took it better than she thought he would. He screamed a little, threw some things but he never got mad at her or what she represented. She knew he resented the military for her father's death but he never said it out loud.  To be honest she wasn't sure she would be able to contain herself if he started in on his contempt for the military and those in it.

However, his behavior at Jacob's funeral was slightly different. He let his dislike for the military be very well known when he met Jack and the rest of the members of SG-1. After all they had made the trip to San Diego because Sam and Mark both agreed their father should be buried with their mother. Sam on the other hand remained quiet throughout the service because she didn't want to cause a scene, she would deal with her brother later. She was surprised, however, to see Pete at the service.

She figured Mark had told him about their father and more than likely suggested he come to the service. It didn't really bother her; he was after all Mark's friend. What bothered her was his behavior towards her. He hovered the entire time they were at Mark's house. Finally fed up she pulled him into one of the spare rooms in the house and told him how much she disliked his behavior

"I'm not going to break so stop hovering"

"Sam, I just want you to I am there for you. You don't seem to mind then your team hovers"

"I know you are there, but please give me some space" she chose to ignore the last part of his comment because she wasn't in the mood to argue with him

He reluctantly agreed and backed off for the rest of the afternoon. After he left she felt a little guilty for being so short with him but she hated when people thought of her as a china doll that needed to be coddled when things got bad.

"Everything ok?"

Jumping at the sound of his voice, Sam quickly turned around "Sir you startled me"

"Sorry, just wanted to make sure you were ok"

Ok, so the guys had been hovering around her too but in her eyes it was a different kind of hovering. They knew what she was capable of and that she wasn't going to fold like a cheap chair. "Yes sir, he was just…"

"Hovering?"

"Yes sir" she smiled. In fact it was the first smile Jack had seen from her in the last few days and was glad he was the one who did it.

"Your brother…."

"He's not insulting anyone is he?"

"No I was just going to tell you that me and the guys are going to head back to the hotel. That's why I was looking for you and he said you came in here"

"Oh. Thank you sir"

"You're welcome, Sam" She was a little surprised at his use of her first name but didn't think too much of it. Mainly because she wasn't allowed to think too much of it

After everyone left, Sam stayed a little while longer to talk with her brother about his behavior at the service. He merely shrugged her off saying that all military stuck together so of course she would side with them. Both got angry and it was like nothing had ever changed between them. Afraid she would say something she would regret Sam merely stormed out of her brother's house and went to the hotel she and the others were staying at. When she got to her room she cried herself to sleep. 

TBC


	3. part 3

**Disclaimer and all that jazz are still in part one!**

**Part 3**

Sam was thankful to be going back to work. She needed the distraction because both Mark and Pete were beginning to get one her nerves. The last few days had been rough enough for her without them constantly calling. Thankfully her team had seen fit to at least give her a little space. Daniel only called once since they had returned from San Diego, Teal'c never used the phone and she never expected the Colonel to call her. Although she wouldn't know if he did because she ripped the phone out of the wall after her brother called twice in one hour

She thought a lot about her father in those few days at home. She cried when she looked at pictures from when she was a kid and at the thought of the conversation she imagined having with him when she was stuck on the Prometheus. Every thing around her house seemed to remind her of him. She was broken out of her thoughts by the door bell.

"Pete what are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were doing."

"Pete, I'm fine"

"Can I come in? I think we should talk"

Realizing she wasn't going to be able to get rid of him she let him. He did after all make the trip from Denver to see her so the least she could was listen to what he had to say.

"I've been talking to Mark"

"Pete" she started but he cut her off. Something that she hated very much

"Sam I know what you do is important but it is too dangerous maybe you should find something else"

"Excuse me?" She was shocked that he was even suggesting it. After all he saw what she did for a living and how important it was

"You're brother is worried about you and so am I. Look you can come to Denver, get a job there. We would be able to see more of each other too"

"You're right what I do is important and you have no idea how important it is. I will not just leave because you and my brother think it is best for me. My father understood why I do what I do and no it is not because he was military also"

"Sam please, I don't want to see you get hurt. If you come to Denver I can keep you safe"

"Get out" she yelled as she lead him to the door of her house

"Sam you are upset"

"Damn right I am, now get out. Neither you nor anyone else in my life is going to deicide how I live it. You can tell that to my brother also" she replied as she opened the front door

"Sam what happened we were so good together. I mean we can be great together. We can have a great life, kids the whole nine. Why are you settling for this life when you can have so much more?"

Hearing those words come from his mouth finally brought everything into perspective for her. He was right, just as her father had been on the Prometheus, she was settling. It just took her till now to realize that she was settling for the wrong thing. Pete was the safe bet not Jack. She was afraid to go for what she really wanted and instead settled for something else.

"You're right I can. Good bye Pete"

"Sam don't do this. You don't know what you are saying. You're upset just give it some time"

"I don't need any time, its over"

Dropping his head in defeat Pete walked out the door. "This isn't it, Sam"

"Goodbye Pete"

TBC


	4. part 4

**Disclaimer is….well where do you think it is?**

**Part 4**

Sam wasn't sure what she should do with her new found realization. She couldn't just waltz over to her commanding officer's home and confess her love to him, could she? No that would be stupid. Urgh she was so confused, she just got rid of Pete but now she didn't know what to do. She knew what her heart wanted but her head wouldn't shut off long enough to let her decide what to do. 

She had begun pacing her house when the door bell rang again. Frustrated that Pete might have returned she practically ripped the door off the hinges when opened it

"Pete I told you…"

"Whoa Carter" Jack said putting his hands up showing he was a friendly

"Sir, I'm sorry. What are you doing here?"

"I've been trying to call you for the last half hour"

She was touched by his concern and could see in his eyes that he was little shaken also "I took it off the hook when my brother and Pete wouldn't stop calling. I'm sorry sir come on in"

"So how are you holding up?"

"I really just wish everyone would stop asking me that"

"Carter your father just died…."

"Don't you think I know that? It's bad enough he's gone but now I have my brother telling me how much the military sucks and Pete wanting me to give up my job and move to Denver with him" He was the last person she wanted to yell at but it was coming to a head "I don't know what to do anymore" she began to cry as she yelled 

"Sam" he said as he grabbed her and hugged her as tight as he could

"Oh god he's gone, Jack. He's gone" she finally broke down completely and cried her heart out

He rubbed her back as she cried. He really didn't know what to say to her so he just held her. He loved her so much and it killed him to see her in so much pain. It also scared the hell out of him. He hadn't these feelings for anyone in a long time and the last he wanted was for her to be in pain. It also scared him that she might be serious enough with Pete to move to Denver with him.

"I'm sorry sir"

"Enough with the sir, already" he said as he led her to the couch

"I'm sorry" she replied wiping the tears from her face

"Don't apologize" he whispered as he continued to rub her back "So Pete stopped by huh?" He needed to know if she was considering leaving him and the SGC. Also he needed to know so that he could do everything in his power to change her mind. Sure he wanted her to be happy, he just didn't her happy with someone else.

"Yeah, he wanted me to move to Denver with him because he said he could keep me safe there. I told him to get out"

"Sorry" but he really wasn't that sorry.

"Don't be, he helped me to realize something" She knew it was now or never because she would probably lose her nerve if she didn't 

"What's that?"

"That I was settling for this life when I could have a better one"

"Ok I have no…" He was cut off by the touch of her lips on his. He wanted to pull away. Everything told him to pull away but her lips felt so good on his that he just deepened the kiss. After a long moment he finally pulled away from her "Sam"

"Jack"

"You're emotional right now you don't know what you're doing"

"I know exactly what I am doing. I'm done settling for this life when I can have the life I want"

"What do you want?"

"You in my life, always"

"Same here" he replied before kissing her again and carrying her off to her bedroom where they would begin the life they both wanted, together.

**The End**


End file.
